Where did she get that??

So, I just have to share a couple of funny stories from Bella because they made me laugh so hard, and I just love what comes out of little toddler's mouths. The other night, I had a presentation to do online for my class, so I let Bella pick a movie and put it on for her in my bedroom to keep her out of my hair. She picked Sleeping Beauty. When I was done with my presentation, I went back to watch the rest of it with her. It was at the end, when Prince Phillip is trying to get to Sleeping Beauty to wake her up and the evil lady is putting all those obstacles in his way. Well, she zaps a bunch of thorn bushes around the castle so he can't get to it. Right as they started growing all over and Prince Phillip starts cutting through them, Bella says "Man, are you kidding me?". I thought I was going to die! Where did she get that from?

Then just today, I was in the kitchen trying to get Bella to come for dinner. I had told her to come sit at the table several times, but she just kept ignoring me. Finally, I stomped my foot and said "Bella, get over here right now". She finally figured out that I was serious, so she started walking toward the kitchen. As she was coming, she sort of laughed and said "you stinker". Can you guess what I call her when she's being difficult?? She's making it so hard to discipline lately, copying everything I say. It just makes me laugh, and that is not effective discipline! I sometimes count to 3 also, to make her do what I want. Lately, as soon as I say one, she says "two, three"! What am I supposed to do with that?? Luckily, she usually does what I want as she's saying two, three.

Anyway, we also got pictures of the two today. They were both kind of difficult, but we finally managed to get some decent ones.

Sorry, but it's true...

I have the stinkin' cutest kids in the world! You all can try to compete, but you can't! Lately, my amazing little family is all that keeps me going. I'm so grateful for my husband who puts up with me and loves me anyway. I am so grateful to Bella who has been our saving grace these last few months. She is absolutely hilarious like all the time. And her hair, oh that hair! Just looking at her when her hair isn't done makes us chuckle! And Evan gets cuter by the second. He's right on the verge of smiling and starting to talk, and I just love it when they start doing that. They actually start to resemble a real human being!! Anyway, I was just looking at these pictures and couldn't help but love my two little babies.

Little Evan

Well, I guess I should make a post about our new arrival. But first, I need to post about Halloween, which was the day before Evan, cause Ryan was hilarious. Bella was a cowgirl. It was the simplest thing I could come up with to do the day before I had a baby on no money!! We already had the adorable pink boots (thanks Sarah!), so I just put her in a levi skirt and a white shirt and I spent $.97 on a pink hankie to tie around her neck. Ryan, on the other hand, made me trek around to 5 different stores and spent more money than we have, which happens to be none, but still! And I had to slave over it for like 2 hours. But it was hilarious. And he wore it to the ward party, work, and on Halloween night to take Bella trick-or-treating. He was Super Mario, you know from the old school Nintendo. He had overalls and a red shirt. We found some battery powered lights that I sewed to the overalls so that he could turn them on and off and have star power. We fixed up David's U of U hat with a felt "M". Ryan downloaded the Mario soundtrack off of Itunes and we went and found a portable speaker so he could keep it in his pocket and play the Mario music. He even had the star power music for when he flashed his lights! It was pretty funny and it got him all excited for a few days. So I let him go to town with it because well, frankly, we could use something to get excited about around here!
So, moving on, Evan Scott Jubber was born on November 1 at 5:28 pm. I decided to go with the VBAC and 3 weeks later, I'm still so glad I did. I've been able to do so much more and I feel almost all recovered. And it only took 6 hours from start to finish. Not too shabby. I had all this anxiety about the delivery, which is why I almost opted for another c/s, but it turns out it just wasn't that bad. I guess I could do it a few more times!! Anyway, he weighed 8 lbs 13 oz. In the hospital, they said he was 23 in, but when we took him to the doctor a few days later, he was barely 21 in, so I think they goofed up a little bit. But he's a big healthy boy!

Because of the H1N1 thing, no children under 14 are allowed in the hospital, so I didn't get to see Bella for 2 1/2 days. That was really sad. But she also didn't get to come see Evan, so we just showed up at home one day with a baby! That makes it really hard. But she's been pretty good overall. She never hated him, just acted out a little over the split attention. She loves to hold him and give him kisses. She ALWAYS wants to kiss him. It's almost past cute and getting to annoying!! :) No, I'm glad she likes him. She's very soft and gentle with him and loves to rub his head. I'm so relieved because I was having nightmares that she accidently killed him. I know, it's morbid, but I was scared about how she was going to treat him. But, 3 weeks later, he's still alive and well and Bella seems to have adjusted pretty well to the new addition. My only other source of crazy is the nursing issue. Most of you know that I didn't make it very far with Bella because she refused to eat off of me! It made me an emotional mess and finally, after 4 weeks, I just gave up. I'm finding myself in the same spot again. I didn't know what is wrong with me, but my kids don't like me :) It's been a horrible roller coaster. Evan has done better than Bella did, but I find that I really just hate it. I don't know how women do this. So, Ryan said that he was deciding for me that it was making me a bad mother and wife and that I was not allowed to breastfeed anymore! :) Okay, really he'd support me in whatever, but he's right. I have chewed all my fingers and the inside of my mouth to pieces because I just sit and gnaw on myself every time he nurses. I can't get him to latch on right and it makes it a very unpleasant experience. I even went to a lactation specialist and she wasn't really that helpful. She told me to just keep trying, and here, 2 weeks later, he's still a nursing failure. There is something wrong with me. So I have spent the last 3 weeks sobbing and being frustrated and driving my husband crazy, and as of yesterday afternoon, I am weening him to bottles. I again become a mothering failure and have to try to make up for it somewhere else! I'm slowly coming to terms with it again...

So, that's life around here. We're a little tired and broken down, but things are getting better. I remember the relief I felt after going to bottles with Bella. I felt like the whole world was lifted off my shoulders, so hopefully I'll start to feel better soon. Oh, and I have a terrible cold that I picked up a few days ago, so that's not helping anything either. I hope that goes away soon, too!

Okay, okay...

Dumb blog won't let me move anything around, so here are the pictures first, then my words of wisdom, and then a couple videos from Bella's birthday.
So, I was recently nominated as the most slacker blogger (thanks Katie :), and I have to say that it's probably kind of true. It's not that there isn't anything to report, it's just mostly sad news, so I try to stay away from talking about it! But a quick recap anyway...

Ryan is still looking for a job. I gotta say, the Lord is very interested in testing us right now. We never EVER saw this coming. Eight long years of school (and he's not even a doctor or lawyer or anything!) and this is what it comes to. His parent's basement is nice, and honestly we can't complain about free rent, but we have a new problem arising. We have no room for another baby, and it's coming fast. The living room is cluttered like you wouldn't believe. All of Bella's clothes and shoes and everything are shoved into our room, and she sleeps in the office in a corner. This is all fine and dandy, but I have no room for another one! Yes, a tiny little baby can fit anywhere, but where do you put all the clothes, diapers, and all the other junk that comes along with a baby?? Needless to say, this is what I think about at 7:00 am when I can't sleep anymore. My car is also having some serious problems . Now, normally, this wouldn't be a big deal because we have two cars. We're not so spoiled that we think we need that. The problem lies in the fact that we cannot go anywhere as a family in our second car. Stupid Mini! So if my car up and croaks one day, we'll really be stuck. There are a whole slew of other things going on that I won't get in to, but needless to say, we're stressed. But Ryan is still looking and trying hard. He's studying like crazy to pass this second test in December. He's pretty ready for it, he's just worried that all the extra time is going to mess him up. Because of the economy, companies are really not that interested in anyone without at least two tests, so hopefully a passing grade in December will make for a better job outlook for him.

On a happier note, my little baby is turning 2!! And she's not a baby anymore! I can't believe how much she's grown up in the last couple months. I'm happy, because I'm gonna need a big helper in a couple weeks here, but it's sad, too! And stressful. She wants to be a big girl about everything. She wants to sit on a regular chair, which as those of you with small children know, that makes a big mess. And those of you who know me well know that I don't deal with messes very well. So I'm working on calming down! She wants to climb up and down the stairs on her feet. This is all good and well in the house, cause if she falls, it might hurt, but at least it's carpet. But she wants to do it on the stairs outside down to our door. I don't worry about her going up, she's pretty good at it. But coming down is scary. I'm always paranoid she's gonna fall down and crack her head open on the concrete. And I think she wants to start using the potty. AAAHHHH!! I was just gonna wait until after the baby, because it's definitely not something I need to deal with right now. But yesterday, she was yelling at me about changing her diaper. When I went to get a new diaper, she threw a fit and ran into the bathroom pointing at the toilet. So I took off her old diaper and sat her up on the toilet. It was pretty funny because I don't think she realized how big it really was and she was a little freaked out. But she reached for toilet paper, wiped, and threw it in the toilet. (she didn't actually go to the bathroom, just kind of pretended). Then we got off and she happily let me put a new diaper on. Then today, when I went to get her from the daycare at the gym, they told me that she took her diaper off and went into the bathroom. They had tried to page me but I didn't hear it. So she was just walking around with no diaper on! She's definitely interested! But she's gonna have to wait a couple months. I just don't have the energy for potty training right now! But she's growing up and we still have such a blast with her. Ryan and I are grateful every day for the tender mercy that she is. With a lot of things to be stressed and complain about, she certainly brightens our lives. She makes me laugh a hundred times every day, and I'm so excited to have another one. So, we can't afford to feed them, and if it weren't for my sisters and sister-in-law, we would have a hard time clothing them, but man they are so worth it! We celebrated her birthday with my family last week when we all got together for dinner, then we celebrated with Ryan's family last night. I don't have a lot of pictures from last night because Ryan's dad was doing the picture taking while I took some video on our camera. It was so fun to see her so excited about opening presents! It only took her one or two to get the hang of it!

So, congrats to anyone who has stuck out this blog post thus far! I guess I should blog more often so it doesn't get so long! But I probably won't again until after the baby. I will post lots of pictures of him when he comes. I have officially scheduled a VBAC, for those of you who have been wondering about my decision. What they do is break my water, then give me just little doses of patossin (sp?) to try to get labor started. They can't do full doses because it increases your chance of a uterin rupture, which is a bad thing! So, if labor progresses okay, we will hopefully have a successful VBAC. If it doesn't, it will be another c-section and that will be the method of choice from now on. What will it be, what will it be? Anyone wanna make this interesting and make bets?? Anyway, I hope this is a sufficient post for my lack thereof! Hopefully over the next couple months I'll have happier news to share!

Lady Gaga

Well, I recorded this special for my sister, Terra, so I have to text her and tell her to look at it. You'd better look at it, Terra! But I couldn't figure out how to get it to her. It was too big for an email, and I couldn't get Facebook to let me post a video... Grrrrrr. So here it is for everyone to see!! This is Bella's impression of Lady Gaga!

It's official...

I could only hold it off for so long. I knew it would come sooner or later. It was bound to happen, even after the attempt at hot wheels and monster trucks... I have a little girl! She got all dressed up today and scooted around in her way-too-big plastic high heels all morning. And yes, she was scooting. Walking in shoes like that requires careful precision that only a female can pull off.

And by the way, we really did try hot wheels and monster trucks. She loves those, too, but I think we've found a new addiction. Welcome, me, to the world of dress-ups! And just in time for her baby brother. Oh the pictures we will have.

Our Summer Vacation

Ha, you all thought I was going to be posting about some great summer vacation we had! Well, you are wrong! Both of our families took great summer vacations. My family went to a reunion of sorts on my mom's side in Northern California and Ryan's family went to Disneyland and other attractions around there. We wanted to go so badly, cause we could really use a vacation, but a few things hindered us. Ryan doesn't have any more vacation time, so getting work off would have been difficult. We also decided that we didn't want to travel anywhere in my car without A/C and we don't really fit in Ryan's car for a vacation. So we had a little vacation of our own. We went all the way to... Park City!! We went last Saturday and decided to have some fun for the summer. I know, contain your excitement! But we did have some fun. It was super crowded because the Arts Festival was going on, which we didn't know. We didn't really get to do a lot of what we wanted to because it was so crowded and busy that things went very slowly. But I got new spin shoes at the outlet malls. That was exciting for me! And of course, we had to stop at the chocolate store and get chocolate. So we had a little day of fun, and I guess that will have to suffice as our summer vacation! We also had our first "oh shoot, where did we leave piggy experience". Because of the Arts Festival, we had to park really far away and then shuttle in. When we got back to our car that night, we realized that piggy was no longer with us. Bella had been so into her sucker, she had set him down somewhere and we all forgot about him. I was physically ill driving all the way back to Main Street because I'm just not ready to lose him yet (and I don't think Bella is yet either!). But thank heavens, I ran back into the bookstore we had been in and there he was, just lying on the floor. I think his feelings were really hurt because he was forgotten!

And, I will just mention dinner with the girls, cause it was really fun! It was so good to see everyone. I only just mention because most of the people that read my blog were at the dinner! But, we got a picture, taken by the cute little busser at the restaraunt that didn't speak english and had apparantly not used a lot of cameras!! So, that's all I have. I'm just trying to keep up on my posts so that people don't nag me about it! :)

One day, it will be fine...

Wow, it's been a long time since I got on here. So much has gone on, I don't know where to start. Well, Ryan graduated back in April. That was really exciting. While there are still no job prospects, we're really happy to have that part of our lives over with.
So we've moved back to his parent's house. We were hoping it would be temporary, but who knows now. Ryan had to pass some actuarial exams to get a job. He passed his first one last week and we were so proud of him and feeling so optimistic about life! We got both our families together and went to dinner. But our victory was short lived. We thought he would be able to get a job with just one test passed, but we just found out this morning that, with the econony the way it is, that's highly unlikely. Apparantly firms now are looking for more of an investment and want a little more experience under the belt. And he can't take the second one until December, so we don't know what to do now. Anybody have some suggestions??? So, it's been kind of a bad day today, but I'm sure that one day, it will be fine. I'm hopeful that one day we'll be able to afford feeding and clothing the little mouths we keep creating.

So we decided to try to make our day a little happier and go find some fun today. We went down to the Gateway and hung out for a while. We went to the Clark Planetarium, which Bella was totally mesmorized by. We decided to try out a movie with her, so we saw the Saturn movie in the dome theatre. She did so good. We were so proud of her! It was 45 minutes and she sat through the whole thing. Then we got some lunch at McGraths and tried to force Bella to get wet in the fountains. She was terrified!! Unfortunately, Ryan's international employer does not recognize Utah holidays, so we had to get back in time for him to go to work. Have I mentioned how much it stinks that he can't get a job?? This whole working at night thing is getting super old.

So, most people probably know by now that we're having a boy this time around. I'm moving into the I'm-so-uncomfortable-all-the-time-I-never-want-to-be-pregnant-again stage. I'm about a week away from trimester 3. I think I'm definitely showing now. I wear maternity clothes just to make sure it's obvious!! I have a tendancy to just look really chubby until about month 8, not pregnant. So for my own psyche, I have to just start wearing maternity clothes and force the look!! Then I can be pregnant, not fat! As if that really makes a difference, right ladies? But I've started into the jumping out of bed in the middle of the night because of the horrible cramp that just hit my leg, and all that fun stuff.

I'll mention, too that we went to the zoo in May with Bella. We thought we'd give that a try and see if she would like it. Turns out she likes giraffes and big giant water balls. Everything else was kind of a waste of money! But we got some fun pictures, so what the heck!
So, that's about all. Not much exciting is happening for us. We just keep plugging along, hoping for a miracle one day!! I will end with pictures of my adorable Bella. She is what keeps us happy and moving forward! Hopefully the new one will bring as much joy, too. Hope people out there are still reading!!

I'm on again!

Sorry to all of you who check my blog and have noticed that I haven't posted for ages. I've just been too darn busy. And as more things happen, it becomes more and more overwhelming to recap everything, so I'll do it quickly. Most people know by now that I'm pregnant. My official due date is Nov. 6. We're really excited and we're crossing our fingers for a boy this time. I've been much less sick than I was with Bella, which is such a relief. I was dreading the morning sickness again, and it really hasn't been that bad. Gives me hope for a boy!! Also new is that Ryan is graduating. I guess it's not new, just actually happening soon. He starts finals on Friday and graduation is next Thursday and Friday. I have to say, it makes me tear up a little bit. Partly because I'm so happy, and partly in remembrance of the MANY tears that have been shed over the last 4 1/2 years. It almost feels surreal, like it can't really be happening. The next step is a job, which I'm hoping isn't too difficult a task. It will take me a while to care that he doesn't have a job because I'm just so happy that the school phase is over, at least for Ryan. We've decided, along with graduation, to move back into the Jubber's basement. We're hoping it's very temporary while Ryan looks for a job. We just feel sick about continuing to pay high rent down in Orem when we don't really need to be here anymore. It will have its pros and cons. Hopefully we can make it all work out and all be happy!! Bella has been so helpful with the move... or just in the way!

Bella is growing like a weed and gets funnier every day. Her new thing is to haul around an armful of stuffed animals. It's hilarious to watch because she'll drop one, and when she leans down to pick it up, she drops another, and the cycle continues. She found these two stuffed dogs that we've had around and she loves them because they're really soft and cuddly, but she can't let herself give up piggy, who is no longer soft and cuddly! I think she's really having an internal struggle!

She has also learned about the finer dining in life... McDonalds! We got shakes and fries one night ( a pregnant lady's request) and Bella suddenly figured out how to suck out of a straw. We had no idea she could, but I guess chocolate shake inspired her!
She's also learning to feed herself. What an adventure! I love the whole independence thing without the ability. It makes for lots of messes and very little food in her stomach, but it makes her happy, so whatever!
Aunt Sarah made Bella a dress up dancing skirt for Christmas. We knew it would be a little early, but apparantly she is not interested in dress ups. Not yet anyway. I tried to put the skirt on her a couple weeks ago, and she just kept whining and trying to pull it off! I guess we'll try again in a couple months!
Anyway, that's about it. We just keep plugging along. But I have to say that it's a good thing that Ryan will be home more often soon, because Bella and I are having a hard time filling the hours without him, and there's a certain amount of sanity that has been lost!

Brunettes have more fun

My sister-in-law, Sarah, dyed my hair last week. I decided that I was sick of being a redhead and it was time for a change, so we went brown. I love it, although I think it still needs to grow on some people! Ryan actually liked it, too, which I was a little nervous about. The best part is that she dyed my eyebrows to match, and I feel like a totally different person with eyebrows. I've never been able to see them before. It's such a new experience!!

On the 29th, my sisters and I had a girl's night. We went to see Bride Wars, which I think is hilarious, by the way. That was my second time seeing it and I laughed even harder the second time. But I brought my camera so we could document the good times! I asked the guy at the candy counter at the theatre to take this. They were all embarrassed. I don't know why.

We also had Daphne, Sarah and Andy's daughter, at our house for 5 days. I was a little stressed about having her with all the homework I'm doing all the time, but it actually worked out really well. She entertained Bella while I sat at the computer and got all my stuff done. This is her dancing. She wants you to take pictures of her dancing, and most of them just come out blurry because she's moving so much. But we had a really fun time with her. Bella did pretty good with sharing her toys, but she wasn't happy about sharing her mommy! Every time I did anything with Daphne, she would come worm her way in. Oh well. One day she'll be forced to share, and life will never be the same again! But the experience taught me one thing. I am sending my children away when it's time to be potty trained, and they cannot come back until they are tall enough to get on and off the toilet in a non-disgusting manner and reach the sink to wash their hands!! I don't do well with potty training children. I think that in the next year or so I will be learning a lot of patience and have to put aside some of my cleanliness issues!!
Well, life is still busy. Ryan continues to plug away at school. He says this semester is going a little better than last, but he's still gone a lot. The only thing getting us through this is knowing that the end is so close, we can taste it!! We're thrilled that he's graduating into an economic recession with millions of layoffs and unemployment at new highs. Hopefully he'll be able to find something!! Life may not be changing as much as I thought it would be! But we're healthy and happy. Just have to throw in a picture of Bella because that's why I blog... to show off my adorable kid!! This is Bella's impression of The 'Hoff.

I need your help! Somewhere along the way, I lost my blogger list! If you check out my blog, please leave a comment with your blog address so I can add it back in. I want to keep up on people. If yours is there, it's cause I remembered it or found it somewhere! Thanks.

Crazy Busy

Okay, now it's official, she walks all the time now. Have to keep everybody updated because she likes to take her precious little time with everything!! So, I need to take a moment to whine about how very busy I am. And yes, I brought it all on myself, but I still feel overwhelmed. Plus, you all want to know what I'm up to, right? So, let me put to rest the rumors that I am a lazy housewife and tell you all what I do with my days! So, I have 12 credit hours this semester, and all of the classes are a nightmare. One is a legal class which is just reading and reading and reading and more reading. Oh yeah, and when you're done with that, read some more! Another one is a statistics class and we all know how much Breanna hates math. I thought that Ryan would be able to help me a lot, you know, cause his major is statistics, but he keeps looking at it and saying "oh, yeah this stuff kind of confused me too". AAHHH! But it's actually been good for both of us because I work really well when I have a sounding board, and it's been a great review for him. So slowly but surely we muddle through. The last one is an accounting class, which wouldn't be so bad, except that the professor is one of those that thinks his class is what the world revolves around. Kill me now! I'm also in the primary presidency, and I volunteered to do all the birthday cards for the year, so I have to sit down and spend a couple hours every month printing those out. And I have to plan sharing times and fun stuff like that. I have two ladies that I visit teach that are having babies in March, and our landlord is pregnant and due in April, so I'm making rag quilts for each of them. That in and of itself could keep me busy for the next 2 months! I'm also on a new scrapbooking kick. I really want to get caught up before I have another kid so that I'm not completely overwhelmed. I'll just be completely overwhelmed right now! I've started going to the ward book club, so that means another book to read every month. I'm actually done with January's, which is good. And that one isn't too much pressure because half the people that show up don't even read the book! I spend 1 1/2 hours every day and the gym, which takes up a lot of my day. I have a house to clean, and most importantly, I have a beautiful little girl to take care of that now moves faster than ever. And she's very clingy!! And, like last semester, for all intents and purposes, I am a single mother again. We got so spoiled over the Christmas holiday having Ryan around, and now he's super busy again and working his tail off. I keep myself together by reminding myself that this is the last semester we have to do this!! Oh, I almost forgot. It's also tax season, so I have tons of taxes to do. I have my dad's, which are always a real treat, and then all my siblings, plus my own. And I still go up every two weeks to work at my dad's office, which means I pretty much lose that whole day. Here are some pictures of my computer room right now! Oh, the mayhem!
Ryan and I went to the Ryan Shupe concert on Saturday night, and they sang the song "Simplify". That song has never meant more to me than it did Saturday night! I have to say though that I'm grateful to have things to do. One of the hardest things about Ryan being gone all the time has always been that I don't have things to fill the time. So I'm grateful to be busy. And I'm being very careful to keep my priorities straight. Bella is always number one, and when she needs to cuddle, I gladly take the opportunity!! So, if any of you made it this far, I'm impressed. I don't really expect most people to. Just needed to let it all out!! And, it looks like another post on my blog, so nobody can send me comments that I don't ever post!! Hehe! Okay, lastly, I'm posting the cute pictures of all my family. We had family pictures done, and it was so hard getting 12 kids to all look at the camera, but so many of them turned out so cute!

Aren't they adorable???